I’ve got ‘deer in the headlights’ disease. It is true. I used to know what to do at any given moment in my life but now I often find my self half-dazed. I won’t realize it until I un-trance with a start and realize I have been staring at the ceiling fan or something equally mesmerizing.
It’s not that I don’t know what I should do pretty much every second of the day when it comes to babies and housecleaning but what can I safely do in the limbo moments when the boys are not quite asleep but noodling around in their cribs talking to each other? These moments generally lead to sleep but could also easily deteriorate into full on sobbing and the official end of nap time. These are the moments when I don’t feel confident getting into another project but at the same time I am not actively parenting either. Unless you call listening to and checking in with the baby monitor; parenting! If I start cleaning or cooking baby food or paying bills and then I inevitably get torn away and to be real; whatever I do decide to do, I am essentially doing at half mast. Let’s face it! I am only half the brain I used to be!
Maybe it’s this change of season that has me in its spell. Snow brings such quiet. That must be it! It feels so quiet right now. No banging and hammering from all the local construction projects and even the (got to get the firewood in before it snows) drone of multiple scrambling neighbourhood chain saws is gone. The snow is falling so gently and quietly right now.
Have a look – listen.
As you can see, we still haven’t taken in the summer garden furniture…
Winter descending upon us is a reminder that almost an entire year has passed since the babes came into our life. This time last year I was as big as a house and had no idea what was ahead of me. In fact I was probably just as antsy as I am right now! Wow – when I think about all of that, one thing springs to mind. I went from the calmest I have ever been to the most chaotic in the amount of time it takes to deliver two babies, which for the record was about about 24 hours from first induction. I’d say active labour was only about 12. Help me out here – how do you calculate it? From the point of the first contraction or the point where you actively start pushing?? The former puts it at 12 but the later really only makes it about 3.
Ach! Who cares?! It hurt like hell and I’m glad that part is over!
And so begins the reflection that comes with the ‘near’ passage of one year. Stay tuned for more memories and reflections. And of course photos that already seem like they were taken a lifetime ago.
Remember the green and red hats?